Finding my peace (Econtrando mi paz)

No idea how to start this.

Welp, here I go again, with a total life overhaul. I’ve done this 2-3 times in the past, and they always end well, but navigating through them can be painful. As I’m bringing my experience with those past life overhauls to this newest one, I wanted to document it. I wanted to have a method of remaining mindful (very demure, very mindful) during this process and also document some of the challenges I encounter so that if others discover them, they can find some on-the-ground experiences when hitting the ol’ Google looking for solutions. I will likely also supplement this blog with some vlogs on my new YouTube channel (shoutout to my two whole subscribers as of today’s date).

So’kay, let’s return to January of this year (2024). I had been pushing Ariel for us to make a move to any variety of places over the years. Hawaii, Vancouver, Nicaragua, Costa Rica. While he was always willing to oblige me when it came time to go on a recon trip to these destinations, I could not get him to commit to actually making a move. So, my search continued. I floated Spain or Portugal to him, and he seemed perhaps a little interested but expressed concern about being so far away from friends and family. I then stumbled on a few TikTok accounts, vlogs, and blogs from folks living in Mexico and ran the idea past him. While he wasn’t in love with the coastal areas (“too gringo”), he did express that he loved Mexico City when he visited. That’s all I needed to hear, and I had us booked to visit CDMX in May.

In the months preceding the CDMX trip, I began exploring what was necessary for us to move to Mexico. I started explaining to him the process of applying for residency, what we may need to do with our vehicles, etc. If you know me, the moment I have an idea or project to sink my teeth into, my ADHD ensures that I’m allllll the way IN (likely annoyingly so to those around me). Anyway, as the trip to CDMX fast approached, I could sense that Ariel was starting to develop reservations, and it all came to a head one evening when I was pressing him for information on something (I can’t even recall what). It turns out that not only was he not interested in moving to CDMX, but he was also no longer interested in continuing our relationship (this sounds harsh; he worded it more gently and respectfully).

Not gonna lie - I was equally surprised but also not even a little surprised. But this blog will not be an autopsy of his and my 11-year relationship (sorry if that’s what you came here for). Let me summarize it by saying that after spending a couple of weeks hashing things out, we concluded that going our separate ways was best for both of us as our life paths had drifted far apart. It was sad but also freeing but also terrifying but also … rejuvenating (maybe not the right word). And I’m proud that we both handled it like adults and now maintain the solid friendship that was the base to our relationship.

This occurred at the end of April 2024. While some might’ve canceled their trip to CDMX in May, we opted to go together, as friends, as a bit of a last hurrah. It was a great decision, and we both had a fantastic time (have you SEEN our hot air balloon trip?). Since then, we have been working on and supporting each other as we navigate “what’s next?” as individuals.

What’s next for me is … finding my peace in a little town called La Paz (which in Spanish means “the peace”) in Baja California Sur, Mexico (south end of the Baja peninsula on the Gulf of California). Yep, I’m making the move I’ve wanted to make for years. While I loved CDMX, I NEED the ocean, and after living for 19 years in Los Angeles, I think I want some time with a little less city (but in a location where I can still quickly get back to Los Angeles, as I believe it will always feel like home). I also would like a little less politics for a minute, and a much lower cost of living will not hurt.

Since I began thinking about possibly moving to Mexico in January, I have been thinning out my things. Like, WAY thinning out my things. We had a dumpster here in the early Spring and almost filled the giant thing. And now, months later, I can’t even tell you what we threw out; that’s how little whatever was in there meant to me. Each week, I take the time to post items in my local Buy Nothing Facebook group or run a few boxes to Goodwill. I also have sold a lot through Facebook Marketplace. It is a freeing process; I wake up with more energy each day, knowing I don’t have to navigate things. I have the essentials, and that’s it - the rest is now just space … glorious space. Perhaps this is me on the road to minimalism (that’d be a whole miracle. haha)

Two weeks ago, I also obtained my Mexican residency (valid for four years), and I’ve been making contacts through local La Paz Facebook groups with some similarly aged women so I can have a bit of community once I arrive. I also have already secured a rental of a home for the first three months I’m there (beginning in January 2025), and I am in the process of securing another house for a year after that (and it’s RIGHT ON THE WATER - who wants to book with me now to come and visit?!). I have traded in my 2013 Subaru Crosstrek for a 2020 Subaru Outback, so I have more room for moving my belongings and dogs (oh yeah, I’m driving down, and Oona and Olive are coming with me. We kinda thought Oona might pass on before this move happened, which is the main reason I put off leaving until January 2025. However, at her last vet appointment, it sounds like she’s still at 100%, so barring any sudden changes in her health … she’s coming to Mexico!) and have talked with movers about taking another pallet of items down for me (i.e., all my camping and kayaking gear that won’t fit in the car). Olive is currently in some intensive doggie training through a board & train program so that she can be on her best rottweiler behavior after the move. There are many distractions there that are not an issue here, and I want to get ahead of all of them. I also would just love to cruise down a beach with her off-leash and have no worries, so I am investing in training her here and now versus after the move.

For those wondering about the kitties, they will stay with Ariel. They are most comfortable here on their home turf, and I would not want to put them through the stress of a 4-day drive followed by life in a new, smaller house that they can’t leave. They love their home, their cat dad, and he loves them back. I will miss them wildly, but in true cat fashion, I doubt they’ll even notice I’m gone. hahaha. (They’ll be glad the dogs are gone though!)

Spanish … learning Spanish. It’s in the works. I have Duolingo, I have Babble, and I have an online course from a guy who says he can have me speaking Spanish in as little as 15 hours. I also took some live classes, but I don’t like the pressure (I’m all about finding my peace right now). I’m working on it, but I think the actual real language development will come when I’m somewhere that I am forced to use it daily. Currently, I’ll study for a few days, get on a roll, feel good about my progress, and then not study for 2-3 days and forget all of it. Also, for someone who can’t recall a lick of the French she learned through grade school … a lot of it sure starts coming out when trying to speak Spanish! I’m churning out some real interesting Franglish these days, that no one, including myself, can understand

As for work/income after the move, I will keep the status quo. I work freelance and remotely, supporting a few attorneys based in California. As that work can be done anytime from anywhere (as long as I meet court deadlines, of course), it’s incredibly easy to continue once I move. I will likely reduce my hours, as I won’t need to work 40-60 hours a week to pay the bills and save a little, but everything else will remain the same.

That’s it for now. For the next four months, I will document some of the steps/projects I’m undertaking to make this life transition as smooth as possible. Once I’m in La Paz, it will be all about finding mi paz ;-), my way around my new town of residence, all the awesome things to do there, and my new life in general.

Did you know Jacques Costeau called the La Paz area the “aquarium of the world”? Yeah, can’t wait! For funnsies - google “Balandra beach” … then reach out and lemme know when you’re coming down! xo